Sea Cruise

Apparently actor Tom Cruise would rather "get clear" than get clean OK, I admit to a bit of envy of a man my age schtupping Katie Holmes^* (she won me over in her luscious nude scene in The Gift) but, c'mon, someone needs to prick that prick's ego to allow a bit of a sense of humor inside.

Overshadowing such trivial events like the Downing Street Memo, more deaths in Iraq, Global Warming confirmations, and the threat of recess apointment of John Bolton, we must examine the seminal event of the year: "The Squirting of Tom". A phony reporter maneuvers a "microphone" in front of the publicity seeking Mr. Cruise at the London premiere of his latest flick (Steven Speilberg's War of the Worlds) and squirts the Tomcat right in his kisser. From the video I've seen it looked like Cruise was smiling at first but that could also have been a grimaced reaction to watery onslaught. Whatever. Immediately, Cruise seems to realize that he's been made to play the fool in front of all those people and all those cameras and we see what happens when we mere mortal dare to taunt a demigod.

Oh, if only Kokopelli was there...<cue dream sequence effects>

Cruise: Now, why would you do that? Why would you do that?
Koko: Uh...because it's funny?
Cruise: That's incredible you would do that. I'm here giving you an interview...
Koko: Excuse me? Giving me...? All the press here are giving you the opportunity to promote your movie and help you make even more money. This isn't news by any stretch of the imagination. It is hype and you and your studio are the primary beneficiaries so don't try to come off all generous just because you deigned to lower yourself to talk to the "little people".
Cruise: ...answering your questions and you do something really nasty. You're a jerk.
Koko: Geez, Tommy, it's just water. It's not like it was pig's blood. Can't you take a joke?

^*Come to think of it, Miss Holmes did show a penchant for the older gents in Wonder Boys, didn't she. Hmm...now that Sandra and Drew are spoken for, perhaps I should find a way to wrench the young wench from the clutches of her Scientologist Svengali.

Early Summer Flicks

Just a quick post to say that so far my summer movie viewing has been a great 2 out of 2.

Waited a couple of weeks for the hype to die down but finally took the family out to see Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith. Yes! This one almost completely redeems the last two movies and that, my friends, is saying something. Not that I hated those films but they were so far below the heightened bar of the SW franchise that they were a disappointment by comparison. But this one...oh boy! Dark, long, deep and ultimately compelling. The only thing missing (and which would have made this the best of all SW flicks) was a Han Solo type character. Definitely would go back and see this one again.

Last weekend the wifey and I took in Batman Begins and were equally well pleased. Again, a dark and brooding film which captures well some of the source material from Frank Miller's graphic novel Batman: Year One. What a cast: Christian Bale, Liam Neeson, Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman, Gary Oldman, Tom Wilkinson, Rutger Hauer, and the surprise standout for me Cillian Murphy as Dr. Jonathan Crane. Like the Spiderman movies, this one is not just about action and superhero fluff but deals with themes of revenge and justice and salvation. There were, however, two downers to note.

One was the director does not know how to film a fight sequence. Please, sir, take a gander at Spiderman 2 for some pointers. I am a major fan of the buckled swash and there was plenty of that as well as the traditional fisticuffs. But Christopher Nolan (who did the phenomenal Memento) is a bit too obsessed with the actor's faces. Thing is, Chris, when they're moving around so much we can't even glimpse who it is we're looking at when you've got the camera just ten freaking inches away from them! Plus, maybe I'm just too pre-MTV-gen but the edits went so fast that key elements of the danse violent were lost (like how the spurs on the glove could grab a sword, f'r instance, and just who's glove and who's sword would've been nice to know, too).

Secondly, I recommend all us grown-ups avoid movie theaters on weekend evenings. The giggling, mumbling, outright talking and seat-bumping from the teens behind us made us yearn for the good ol' days of ushers with flashlights in hand. I seriously thinking of bringing my own to the next film I see and shining it in the offender's face: "Hey, buddy, I said keep it down!" No wonder more and more folks are opting to watch movies at home. That and the sawbuck I had to hand over for the missus and I to get in. Still, I'm going to go back and see it again as my daughters still want to see it.

Where's (Doc) Waldo?

Obituaries - Obituary: Professor Paul R. Waldo, renaissance man of the theater - sacbee.com (free registration required)

I knew nothing about this...wow...they're just about all gone from my time now except for Tony Courkouros and Manuel Pickett.

Herb Klein (within a month or two of my starting at Sac State)
...Doc Larsen...
...Don Fibiger...
...Bob Smart...
...and now Doc Waldo...

When we were kids we marked the passage of time by our accomplishments. Is this what full adulthood means? To measure time by the passing of old friends and mentors? A dwindling of our past until all that is left is our own fading memories?

Ah, but there is but one last sip of wine left in my glass (a tasty and somewhat robust Meridian Pinot Noir). So I will raise it to Doc Waldo and the passage of an era fading in the dimming light.

Coming of age in a moment or a in a lifetime

I was going to edit my profile in Blogger and happened to notice the "most recently updated" blog list. One called David Duchovny caught my eye and off I clicked. That took me to Duchovny's blog. Hey, Hollywood types can blog, too, especially if it ties in with and promotes some project they're working on. (I remember reading Zack Braff's just before Garden State came out.) So there's this major ad to some film I've never heard of: The House of D. Apparently, Mr. Duchovny is writing and directing now. Must be nice. ANYway, the thing is the movie's site is a real cool Flash site and it got me interested in the movie. The story, according to the site is:

A comical and touching story of a man looking back at his childhood in 1970s Greenwich Village, Lions Gate Films' HOUSE OF D is the feature film writing and directing debut of actor David Duchovny, starring Duchovny, Anton Yelchin, Robin Williams, Téa Leoni, Frank Langella and Erykah Badu.

An American artist living a bohemian existence in Paris, Tom Warshaw (David Duchovny) is trying to make sense of his troubled adult life by reflecting upon his extraordinary childhood...The year is 1973, and thirteen-year-old Greenwich Village native Tommy Warshaw (Anton Yelchin) is on the brink of becoming a man. While his bereaved single mother (Téa Leoni) continues to mourn the death of his father, Tommy escapes his own grief by causing trouble at school and making afternoon meat deliveries with his best friend Pappas (Robin Williams), a mentally challenged janitor. Following the romantic advice offered by Lady (Erykah Badu) - incarcerated in the infamous Greenwich Village Women's House of Detention for shadowy reasons - Tommy even experiences his first taste of love. Yet when an unexpected tragedy radically alters his world, Tommy must make a life-defining choice - one that will compel the adult Tom Warshaw, thirty years later, to confront his unfinished past.

Vividly capturing the spirit of youth in all its joy and heartbreak, HOUSE OF D examines with humor and pathos a boy's harrowing coming of age and the manner in which it defines his adulthood. Sensitively directed by Duchovny and bolstered by affectionate portrayals from a talented cast, HOUSE OF D is a winning, hopeful story about overcoming loss and coming to terms with one's past.

Sounds interesting, right? Well the thing that got me is that this is yet another "coming of age" movie. How many books and films and songs have been written about some pivotal moment from someone's 13th year? Did everybody have some climatic "whoa!" moment in their youth that marks the moment that they knew they were no longer a child? Because I didn't. Man, I feel gypped!

My dad died when I was barely four so I don't even remember him really. Then, my mother had to work to support my bro and me. Now this was back in the late 60s so I'm sure that was quite a defining time for my mom but what did I know as a kid?

I turned 13 in the fall of 1975. The Beatles were done and the hippies had slipped off into irrelevance. Going to the moon had become boring and with my grandmother living with us (her income as a cafeteria worker helped my mom I guess as well as providing a live-in babysitter) there wasn't much discovering to be done. It was a boring yet contented life of a middle/lower-middle class suburban kid. How can anyone of significance come of age in that? It was precisely the kind of life that gets made fun of by all tragically hip. And while I, too, deride it for all it's Wonderbread blandness, still I feel I must defend it, too. No, I didn't have a "harrowing coming of age" moment. Mine, like many of you probably, was a process. And whenever I contemplate this I always return to a TV moment that kicked my butt.

Back in 1988, The Wonder Years debuted and in the first episode Winnie's brother is killed in Vietnam and Kevin follows her to their hang-out spot to console her. There they share their first kiss and the narrator speaks the words that resonated with me so deeply that they still move me now, over 15 years later.

It was the first kiss for both of us.
We never really talked about it afterward.
But I think about the events of that day
again and again,
and somehow I know that Winnie does too,
whenever some blowhard starts talking about
the anonymity of the suburbs
or the mindlessness of the TV generation,
because we know
that inside each one of those identical boxes,
with its Dodge parked out front
and its white bread on the table
and its TV set glowing blue in the falling dusk,
there were people with stories,
there were families bound together in the pain and
the struggle of love,
there where moments that made us cry with laughter,
and there were moments,
like that one,
of sorrow and
wonder.

We all have our own stories, valid and noble stories in their own right. Maybe not the stuff of art films and mini-series, but worthy contributions to the human tapestry.

Anniversary Trip

I kept the secret for six weeks. Not bad. I was going to wait until we were on the road to San Jose tomorrow but thought better of it. Sure she'd need to know what to wear and since we're leaving tomorrow, I revealed to my wife the "secret" I had planned for our anniversary: I got us tickets to the (now sold out) U2 concert. She is all over Bono and U2 and has not been to a concert since she saw Led Zepellin. Since SJ is about 2.5 hours away, we're going to get a room there and make the return trip on Sunday. Finally we can have wild married sex and not have to worry about being quiet because the kids might hear us.

Fatigues fatigue

Okay, I want to be fair here so I will say that the blog post I lifted this quote from was titled "Soapbox Time" and opened with "Sorry, but I've got to get this off my chest." This suggests that this guy does not always act/think as poorly as the quote below would lead us to believe.

I can't even stop for gas while wearing my uniform without someone telling me what a horrible job our President is doing "over there".

So be quiet, keep your incredible stupidity to yourself, and stay protected by your betters.

And, if you read the context of the quote you can see he is venting after some rather distasteful remarks against the military and the Commander in Chief, his ultimate boss. OK, I'll grant him that. Furthermore, regardless of his arrogance, I still say we owe him a debt of gratitude for putting himself in harm's way at the behest of our country. But..."keep your incredible stupidity to yourself, and stay protected by your betters" Are you fucking kidding me? You, sir, are no better nor any worse than I. And I would willingly stand before you and say that to your face and were you provoked to a fight, you would probably win in very short measure. And then you know what? I'd stand right back up and say it again. And again. And fucking again. And you know what? That would make me YOUR better because my humanity would remain intact while you devolve into your beast. And even if you never swing at me or even so much as try to physically intimidate me, I still win because I have stood up. In such a case, you would not be my better but I would be yours...until you apologized. Then...well, I'd be honored to shake your hand and thank you once more for your service.

Back in the Saddle Again

Wow...over six weeks.

Sorry about that. RL intervened. Was gonna get some pix up from the snow trip but haven't found a pic host yet and I'm not happy with the Blogger method. Then, I was besieged with a plethora of programming problems at my place of employ. That was about a month of stress-filled, "what's taking you so long? what are you doing wrong?" extravaganza which has finally concluded with moderate (though not complete) success.

Soon, I will be back to my old blogging self.

In the meantime, to help us all cope with this extended absence and inexplicable return, I give you this tidbit on the abandonment of blogs.

Not that that would ever happen here, right me droogs?

Donner, party of 5...of 4...3?

I've lived in/around SacTown all my life and yet I've never been up to Tahoe when it's snowing. That changes tomorrow. Finally succumbing to the multi-voiced nagging, I and Missus Koko are taking the three Koko-ettes up to a rented house in South Lake Tahoe. Thing is the Nat'l Weather Service has just issued this lovely and inspiring little missive:

NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE SACRAMENTO CA
ISSUED BY NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE SAN JOAQUIN VALLEY - HANFORD CA

30 PM PST THU JAN 6 2005

.ANOTHER STRONG LOW PRESSURE SYSTEM MOVING ACROSS THE EASTERN
PACIFIC IS EXPECTED TO BRING STRONG WINDS AND SIGNIFICANT AMOUNTS OF
PRECIPITATION TO NORTHERN CALIFORNIA. THE LEADING EDGE OF THIS
STORM WILL APPROACH THE NORTHERN MOUNTAINS AND THE SIERRA NEVADA BY
EARLY FRIDAY MORNING. ANOTHER COLDER STORM SYSTEM DROPPING SOUTH OUT
OF THE GULF OF ALASKA WILL MERGE WITH THIS FIRST STORM BY LATE
FRIDAY. THIS WILL BRING MUCH COLDER AIR INTO NORTHERN CALIFORNIA
BEGINNING FRIDAY NIGHT INTO SATURDAY. SNOW LEVELS WILL RANGE FROM

000 TO 5000 FEET ON FRIDAY BUT WILL LOWER INTO THE FOOTHILLS
STARTING FRIDAY NIGHT INTO SATURDAY AND CONTINUING SUNDAY. SNOW IS
EVEN POSSIBLE OVER THE HIGHER ELEVATIONS OF THE NORTHERN SACRAMENTO
VALLEY FRIDAY NIGHT INTO SATURDAY AS MUCH COLDER AIR MOVES INTO THE
AREA.

TOTAL SNOWFALL ACROSS THE SIERRA COULD RANGE FROM 3 TO 5 FEET AT THE
5000 FOOT LEVEL...WITH EVEN MORE ACROSS THE PASSES ALONG THE SIERRA
CREST. ACROSS THE FOOTHILLS AND NORTHERN MOUNTAINS ACCUMULATIONS OF
UP TO A FOOT ABOVE 1500 TO 2500 FEET ARE POSSIBLE...LOCALLY LOWER IN
THE SHASTA LAKES REGION. IN ADDITION...STRONG WINDS WITH GUSTS OF 60
MPH OR MORE ARE LIKELY AT TIMES...CREATING WIDESPREAD WHITE OUT
CONDITIONS.

STAY TUNED TO NOAA WEATHER RADIO AND OTHER LOCAL MEDIA FOR FURTHER
DETAILS OR UPDATES.

WEST SLOPE NORTHERN SIERRA NEVADA-WESTERN PLUMAS COUNTY/LASSEN PARK-

308 PM PST THU JAN 6 2005

...WINTER STORM WARNING IN EFFECT FROM 4 AM FRIDAY TO 6 PM PST
SUNDAY...

THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN SACRAMENTO, CA HAS ISSUED A WINTER
STORM WARNING.

SNOW...HEAVY AT TIMES..WILL BLANKET THE SIERRA NEVADA FROM EARLY
FRIDAY THROUGH SUNDAY AFTERNOON. A FOOT OR MORE OF NEW SNOW CAN BE
EXPECTED EACH DAY WITH THIS STORM. ADDITIONALLY...STRONG SOUTH TO
SOUTHWESTERLY WINDS WITH GUSTS OF 60 TO 70 MPH ARE EXPECTED TO
ACCOMPANY THIS SYSTEM. FROM 3 TO 5 FEET OR MORE OF STORM TOTAL SNOW
ACCUMULATION CAN BE EXPECTED BETWEEN FRIDAY AND SUNDAY ABOVE THE 5FOOT LEVEL...WITH EVEN MORE LIKELY AT THE HIGHEST ELEVATIONS OF THE
SIERRA.

PERSONS PLANNING TRAVEL INTO THE HIGH COUNTRY OVER THE NEXT SEVERAL
DAYS SHOULD BE PREPARED FOR HAZARDOUS DRIVING WITH BLIZZARD
CONDITIONS AT TIMES. CARRY CHAINS...WARM CLOTHING AND CHECK THE
LATEST ROAD AND WEATHER INFORMATION BEFORE DEPARTURE.

EDIS-01-06-05 1532 PST

Oh! My! God! What the freaking hell am I getting myself and my family into?! It may even be too stormy to play in the snow which is the whole reason for going up there. I was thinking that if they like it then we could go up again later and maybe we could afford some snowboarding lessons.

Assuming, that is, if we ever return...

Lego's blog

Cruisin' the Catholic Converts message board after a long absence I ran across a link to Legatus' blog My City Was Gone.

The man royally pissed me off a while back for reasons that have since been resolved and need not be gone into out of respect for the parties involved. However, I must give him his props: he's a smart guy and decent writer. Not sure about this "Jimbo" dude. I remember him from the Catholic Converts board but not like I was actually paying attention to him. That board, by the way, is a staunchly arch-conservative Catholic board somewhat out of step with most Roman Catholics in America (and proudly so). Still it is a repository of Catholic knowledge and resources. Just don't let it be your ONLY source. Then again, I may just be another one of the "neeples".